Hi people, Happy 1st of the great month of November. This is the final installment for my ‘I Found Love’ series. Following on from my last post…
While walking through the arrival gate, I envisioned running towards this man and throwing my arms around him embracing him so tightly…nine months is a long time…the story of my life, fairy tale dreams do not always come true do they? So I had to settle for a luke warm hug, that just made me feel more that chale…my decision was not correct!
The butterfly’s or stomach churning sensation I thought I would get was more like…”Oh is that it then?” I was a little perplexed and somewhat disappointed, as anybody would be I guess!
So he helped put my suitcases into the back of the car and I got in to sit down. He got in and sat with me, when he put his arm around me I couldn’t help but think to my self…WOW! really?! God! naah mate you can’t be serious, this can’t be it for me! I knew inside that this thing right here, was not it. However I held my thoughts and preserved.
Over the next couple of weeks, his actions proved that we were not on the same page. I had indeed made a big mistake! You see the thing is, a lot was riding on this guy. My closest friends and family now knew about him and I didn’t want it to be a thing of…”Oh Bertha, you are just too picky” so I thought, let me at least try…good people, I tried ooh! The guy had a completely different agenda and I wasn’t about to play “fool” into a trap to satisfy someone’s selfish desires.The signs were there very early on for me but the fear of “Oh gosh! not again” played on my mind.
I didn’t stop consulting God, if anything my prayers rather intensified and my God did not fail me. This guy led me to believe that he was a practicing Christian who was struggling with his faith. Where I expected us to attend church it never happened. I was told I would be introduced to his parents but no such thing happened. A whole lot of promises were made that he had no intention of fulfilling. In the end I got totally frustrated and I shut down.
I left the ending of our relationship in this guys court, he was afraid to do it but inside myself I said “nope! I’m not bailing any man out” so I left it to him to sort out what he wanted. I already knew I was out, I just didn’t communicate it. I was beginning to actually get annoyed every time I saw him or heard his voice. Yeah it was time to exit!
A word of caution ladies, as you know we as women have this thing called “intuition”, please get acquainted with it because it will save you from a lot of wasted time and heart ache. When things finally ended he somehow thought he could keep coming back with the usual “I miss you” and the door would keep opening for him. I made the decision that he was no longer worthy of my time because I had wasted enough of it with him and I now had no intention of opening my door to someone who didn’t have any respect or regard for me.
My experience has shown me that as women we must be very sure of ourselves because if men smell any hint of vulnerability you will be bait! It’s as simple as that. (Check out the list of the Ghanaian men to avoid). I would like to encourage anyone reading this to be sure of who you are and what you will and will no accept. Place a high value on yourself and don’t allow anyone to devalue or use you.
Despite my negative experiences with men here in Ghana I still have hope that love will find me one of these days. Not all men are the same but my eyes and ears have been sharpened. So the quest for finding love continues.
Take care until the next time.
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