How Not To Strain Relationships Between Ghanaian Mothers and Daughters

It doesn’t amaze me how progressive Ghana is becoming as a country.  More of us foreigners – I mean those of us with Ghanaian ancestry and direct ties to this wonderful place are yearning to learn more about our motherland. Some of us are even taking that daring step and leaving all familiarity behind and moving back home.  However, there are just some things that really grind my gears about the relationship between Ghanaian mothers and their daughters.  Keep reading to learn my stance on this important issue.

Ghana is the birthplace of Yaa Asentewaa. This incredible and powerful woman had no fear and held no qualms about fighting the British for independence. So, how did we go from fierceness to teaching women that it is paramount to live based on the opinions or life status of others? Hold on while I explain.

(Photo Credit: Ghana Celebrities)
(Photo Credit: Ghana Celebrities)

But what will they say? I cannot express how many times I’ve heard this phrase. So and so will laugh. This one will think I’m a bad person. That one will not like me. Since when is it imperative to please every living person on earth? Shouldn’t we be living to please the almighty and strive to improve ourselves?  Mothers, please stop putting undue pressure on your daughters to live up to an impossible task – people pleasing and placating. It’s not healthy and so not necessary.

(Photo Credit: National Geographic)
(Photo Credit: National Geographic)

Raising women to think they have to live a life of servitude. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is imperative for a woman to be empowered and wise enough to live on her own and learn how to take how to take care of herself emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally, and physically.  However, men are often excluded from daily chores in a household.  I am sorry but we are living in a changing world and some women will not wish to stay at home and wish to slave away in a home just to wake up the next day and repeat the process all over again. Mothers, please teach All of your children the importance of hard work both INSIDE and OUTSIDE of the home; also, empower your daughters to follow their dreams.  Some women lack the confidence to forge bravely in the direction they need to accomplish their goals.

(Photo Credit: Kwekudee-triple down memory lane)
(Photo Credit: Kwekudee-triple down memory lane)

Do as I say, always, even if I am wrong.  Most mothers will want to impart the knowledge they have learned onto their daughters.  Sometimes along the way, some mothers completely forget how it was to be young and frankly not so smart.  They are extremely harsh in their approach to conversing with their daughters and put up a seemingly impenetrable wall that makes it difficult to come to them for advice or a chat while being open and loving towards their sons. Mothers, please be open and practice tough love; don’t have a strained relationship with your daughters because you choose not to show vulnerability. Don’t forget to show some dignity to your daughter. Wouldn’t you want to be treated in the same manner?

What would you add to this list? Do you agree or disagree? Why or Why not? Let’s meet in the comments sectio and chat.

About Farida Dawkins
Greetings! Farida Dawkins hails from New York City and is a mother, blogger, writer, Master of Social Work candidate, Jollof lover, and Air Force Veteran. Farida enjoys reading and writing about Ghanaian and African American issues, Ghanaian entertainment, music, fashion, make-up, and beauty. In addition to writing on the only way is Ghana, check her out at faridadawkins.blogspot.com.

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