I see numerous stories with headlines like “How to Love a Ghanaian Man;” “How To Spot A Cheating Ghanaian Man” or “How To Know If He Is The Right One.” While it is all good and well that we aspire to meet our future partner, I do not see many articles in Ghanaian publications focusing on self-love. In various Ghanaian cultures, one of the many rules of life is to do good to OTHERS. Provide for OTHERS. Give OTHERS what they desire. But what happens when you give and give and give and are left feeling depleted?
READ MY LAST POST ON DEPRESSION IN GHANA HERE: http://theonlywayisghana.com/2016/09/depression-ghana-unspoken-problem/
Focus on You Sometimes
This may sound selfish but that is not the intention. Some Ghanaians still adhere to conventional gender roles which state that women are to take care of the household, the children, and their husband. Any woman who is a mother and/or wife knows how taxing and challenging these roles are. Husbands should understand that their wives need down time for their physical, emotional, and mental health. We all need to recharge; after all, you can’t pour from an empty vessel.
Wives should recognize when their husbands are under an extreme amount of stress and find ways to help them cope. Younger children will not understand but older children can definitely be taught to assist in the household and additional duties. The easiest way to burn out is to take on every single task without assistance from anyone. Rest and peace of mind are essential to tackling everyday life. Set time aside to tune into your needs and wants then do what you can to execute. Ask for what YOU want from loved ones and supporters and that will hopefully help life go a bit more smoothly.
Concentrate On Your Goals
I believe many of us have dreams buried deep inside of us that we may be fearful or reluctant to do the work to achieve. Or it may be other hurdles such as not having sufficient capital, family obligations, or other limitations. I won’t mince words and say it is easy to fulfill your aspirations – especially if it’s an unordinary one. You will find that those who you thought would support you will not, others won’t understand why you are choosing that particular path, some may try to persuade you to take a “safe” job or follow the status quo. But why let your dreams die with you? Why regret when you can look back on your life and be proud? There’s no better spirit killer than unused potential.
Fight For Your Joy
It takes many years of soul searching to “fix” or heal the hurts and pains and sometimes to recover from traumatic life experiences. We may never be 100% and that is because we are flawed human beings. The best we can do is continue to ask for guidance from God, work through our challenges, and reassess ourselves. This does not mean that we should not be proud of our progress or belittle ourselves. We just have to give ourselves a break, work hard to be joyful in this crazy and sad world, and try to do as much good as we can. It all starts with us.
Lastly, have fun! Take a trip, take your family out on an outing, do something that makes you so elated you can burst out in song.
What are some ways you practice self-love? What are some challenges you are having with self-love and how are you conquering these issues? Have anything else to add? Please share in the comments section.
Until next time.